Ellis Morning

Ellis is a Computer Science graduate who fought in the trenches of Tech Support, occasionally crossing enemy lines into the Business Analyst and Project Management spheres of war. She's now a freelance writer and author of sci-fi/fantasy adventure novels about a spacefaring knight errant on a quest for justice and enlightenment. Read more at Ellis' website.

Credential Helper

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302 El Born Centre Cultural, sala Casanova, claus dels calabossos de la Ciutadella

John S. worked with a customer who still owned several Windows 2008/R2 servers. Occassionally during automated management and deployments, these machines threw exceptions because they weren't configured for remote management. One day, John caught an exception on a SQL box and remoted in to address the problem.


Plurals Dones Rights

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Today, submitter Adam shows us how thoughtless language assumptions made by programmers are also hilarious language assumptions:


I Need More Space

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Beach litter, Winterton Dunes - geograph.org.uk - 966905

Shawn W. was a newbie support tech at a small company. Just as he was beginning to familiarize himself with its operational quirks, he got a call from Jim: The Big Boss.


Hard Reboot

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Every day in IT, each one of us walks the fine line between "brilliant" and "appalling." We come across things that make our jaws drop, and we're not sure whether we're amazed or horrified or both. Here's a PHP sample that Brett P. was lucky—or unlucky—enough to discover:


The Wrong Sacrifice

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pentacle




Folks, you need to choose a different sacrificial animal for your multithreading issues. Thanks to this comment Edward found in a stubborn bit of Java code, we now know the programming gods won't take our goats.


My Machine Is Full

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Close-up photo of a 3.5-inch floppy disk

In the mid-90s, Darren landed his first corporate job at a company that sold IT systems to insurance brokers. Their software ran on servers about the size of small chest freezers—outdated by the 70s, let alone the 90s. Every month, they'd push out software fixes by sending each customer between 3 and 15 numbered floppy disks. The customers would have to insert the first disk, type UPDATE into the console, and wait for "Insert Disk Number X" prompts to appear on screen.


The Tokens That Wouldn’t Die

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Expiration

Sacha received custody of a legacy Python API, and was tasked with implementing a fresh version of it.


The Automation Vigilante

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Sipping Bird

Fresh off an internship, Trace landed his first full-time job performing customer service and administration at a large company.


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